Training: Heero
by AHHA
Summary: One of a few prequels to AHHA; Allie and Harm train with the pilots in secret before branching out, and chaos ensues! Pure humor.


Heero growled to himself. He couldn't understand those two at all. They were always going out. They should be studying. That was what they were here with him for anyways. Why he was being forced to teach them, he didn't know. Orders were orders. Speaking of the Daemon Spawn.  
  
Two girls entered the room, the one with two long braids skipping and the other following at a more subdued pace.  
  
"Hn." Heero acknowledged.  
  
"Awww! He DOES like us, Allie!" The one with the braids said.  
  
"Of course he does! Say Heero... do you want to go out with us? Please?" Allie said, dragging out the last word for effect.  
  
"Hn. Why?"  
  
"Wow, two words!"  
  
"Harm, don't tease him! He'll never come with us like that!"  
  
"But it's fun!"  
  
"So!"  
  
Heero watched the two bicker and decided to try escaping. Unfortunately the two girls were far from your run of the mill teenager and noticed immediately.  
  
"I don't think so!" Harm latched onto him, effectively pinning him. "You're coming with us! Now let's go!" The two girls forcibly dragged Heero to the car.  
  
"Where?" Heero asked.  
  
The girls looked at each other and grinned. "You'll see!" they sing-songed mischievously.  
  
Heero groaned inwardly. He thought about the day he met the Daemon Spawn. It was just another day. J presented him with a new mission. Only, this one was very different than one he had ever had before. He was to train and test two people. He accepted the mission, as always. Then he met them.  
  
They came into the room all smiles. He tried to glare at them, but apparently they were immune. There was Harmonie, a girl with very long hair that she wore in two braids, green eyes, pale complexion, and favored the colors black and burgundy. Then there was Aliera. She was taller than Harmonie, and a bit older as well. She had shoulder length honey brown hair with blonde highlights and lavender eyes. After a day of training, he already disliked the pair. They were hyper, loud, and loved to crack jokes. He felt they weren't productive to any working environment.  
  
He quickly found out that the two were rather skilled, but not as skilled as he. Aliera seemed to be stronger in hacking, while Harmonie was better with the weapons, so he altered their training to perfect their strong points. They were progressing well despite his original assessment of unproductiveness.  
  
After being with them for only two weeks, the girls had played countless practical jokes on him. Including, but not limited to, short sheeting his bed, itching powder in his spandex, and fake computer viruses. He didn't like them and when this mission was over he planned to avoid them as much as possible.  
  
Right now they were taking him to a club. Again. The first time they tried to take him to a club he knocked one of them out and got disciplined by J. He wasn't allowed to hurt them like that, apparently. Only in training. That's J for you.  
  
The Metro. [1] They had brought him here before. It was a gay bar. He couldn't understand why they liked this place so much. Harmonie turned around in her seat to look at him. "We brought you to your favorite place! And we have a surprise for you! The first is that it's Dick Dancer Friday! Yummy men dancing almost nude on the bar! The second..."  
  
"You just have to wait!" Allie finished.  
  
"Hn." They dragged him into the club, waving happily at the bouncer and grabbing their wristbands.  
  
"Woot woot!" Harmonie hollered and immediately joined the throng on the dance floor, eyes searching for familiar faces.  
  
Aliera was working on getting Heero drunk. Being friends with the bartender was great. "It's just grape kool-aide, Heero! You LIKE grape Kool-aide!" she said, then thought to herself, 'Well, Purple Jesus, but same thing!' [2]  
  
Well, the last time he was here he drank kool-aide and seemed to have a pretty good time. He shrugged, and drank up.  
  
Finally! Harmonie danced over to a petite blonde boy on the dance floor, meshing her body with his. "Hey Q-tra! Guess who we brought!" she pointed at the bar where Aliera was currently getting Heero drunk off his ass. "And by the looks of it, he is lit up like a Christmas tree!" Quatre looked in the direction she pointed. Heero was looking up at one of the dancers on the bar and stuffing a dollar in his g-string. They both giggled. "I told you he was gay! See! You DO have a chance!"  
  
"But he doesn't even know who I am! We've never met, remember?"  
  
"Well, I can change that! Let's go!" Harmonie giggled and dragged Quatre over to the bar. "Hey Heero! I found someone who wants to dance for you privately!"  
  
"Harmonie!" Quatre blushed.  
  
Heero swayed slightly. "Okay." He grabbed Quatre by the waist.  
  
"Hey, let's go to the lounge. Allie probably wants to shoot pool anyways." The four wove their way through the crowd and snagged a pool table and a section of couch.  
  
Heero pulled Quatre into his lap and was busy drunkenly feeling him up.  
  
Aliera and Harmonie looked at each other and giggled. They took a few pictures for proof. Heero tended to forget what he did when he was drunk. The last time he ended up stripping and dancing on the bar with the other dancers. "You know he has to hate us." Aliera said to Harmonie.  
  
"Yes. But that's okay! Q-tra gets to make out with him, so it's worth it!" Harmonie grinned and snapped a few more pictures as the action on the couch got a bit more heated.  
  
******************  
  
Heero woke up the next morning with a monster headache. Sitting up gingerly, he tried to remember what happened last night. Grape Kool-Aid, g- strings, dancing on the bar....Heero groaned. He was going to KILL them.  
  
"GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!" Harmonie called loudly, throwing open his curtains. "Rise and shine! It's time to get up!" Aliera walked in behind her, a cup of coffee in one hand and two pills in the other. She handed the pills and coffee to Heero wordlessly, a huge ass grin on her face.  
  
He glared at her, but accepted the offering nonetheless. "We have to be in the gym in an hour to run suicides." She told him cheerily. "We'll be waiting!" With that, the two girls skipped out of the room with grins plastered on their faces.  
  
Heero glared at their retreating forms and finished the coffee. Perfect Soldier he may be, morning person he was NOT.  
  
***********************  
  
"So... how badly do you think he will beat us?" Harmonie asked Aliera as they stretched on the gym floor.  
  
"No worse than usual, I'd guess," she answered. "Besides, if he does do worse, we can always put our many blackmail pics on the internet," she snickered.  
  
"Ah yes. Did you send him a copy?"  
  
"Yep. He threatened me with the usual--extra training, bodily harm, bad reports to the doctors," she grinned. "Not that it really matters. We'll be working alone, with Sally to give us missions and stuff, so it's not that big a deal."  
  
"Okay. I sent Q a copy... he turned beet red! It was great!"  
  
The two were sprawled on the gym floor giggling when Heero stalked in.  
  
"Hn." That was Heero for "It's time to start, get on the damned line."  
  
Giggling, the two girls complied.  
  
"So...have fun last night?" Aliera asked, snickering as she started running. Heero just glared and ran ahead of her. The three teens ran suicides on the court for an hour. Then J came in.  
  
"Finished?" J asked, coming closer. "I have a mission for you three."  
  
"Can we shower first, I'm smelling kind of bad here." Aliera said, sniffing herself.  
  
"Yeah, me too." Harmonie piped up.  
  
J just looked at them. "You may change. Report back to me in my office in ten minutes."  
  
Aliera mock-saluted. "Yes, SIR!" she snickered. She grabbed Harmonie's hand and they went off to get clean. Heero followed rigidly after J like he hadn't just spent the last hour running suicides.  
  
After taking a quick shower, the three met in J's office. Harmonie hopped up onto the desk and started swinging her legs back and forth. "So, what's up, doc?"  
  
J looked at her. "Get off my desk."  
  
"Umm... how about no?"  
  
J decided to ignore her. "Heero, I need you to drop these two at a place on L5 to continue their training. I will send the coordinates to the shuttle. I need you to be as quick as possible as I need you back here in 3 days."  
  
"L5....Hey, isn't that where FeiFei is?" Aliera questioned, an evil grin blossoming on her face.  
  
Harmonie blushed slightly. "Yes, I think so."  
  
"Someone's got a cruuuush," Aliera singsonged. Harmonie glared at her, then giggled.  
  
"So! Can we leave yet?" She looked eagerly at J.  
  
"You leave in ten minutes."  
  
*************************  
  
"You know, I think J has a thing for 10 minute time periods..." Harmonie said as she and Aliera left the office to gather their things.  
  
"Only you..." Aliera giggled.  
  
Harmonie grinned. "I know."  
  
"So...looking forward to seeing your potential boytoy?" she asked, grinning.  
  
"Please, he can't stand my presence." Harmonie said rolling her eyes.  
  
"I hear what goes through his head whenever you're around," she replied, walking into the room. She got out her blades and strapped them on. "Trust me, the boy likes you! And I'm a more powerful psychic than you, so you know I'm right!"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"I'm glad we are leaving... Heero is rubbing off on you!"  
  
"Nyah." She stuck her tongue out at the other girl, zipping up her duffel bag and slinging it over her shoulder. "Ready?"  
  
"Definitely! Let's go!" They walked out of their room and headed to the shuttle bay, where Heero was waiting for them with a slight scowl on his face.  
  
"Aww, Hee-chan, cheer up! We're leaving! And if you're good, we might just keep the pics to ourselves," Aliera said cheerfully. Harmonie snickered.  
  
"Hn. Let's go." The three teens boarded the shuttle and headed out toward L5, one eager to get rid of the other two and the two eager to get there and see what mischief could be caused.  
  
[1] Ah the Metro. *grins goofily* First club I ever went to! (A few days ago at that.) Very, very cool place. DRAG QUEENS! *grins manically*  
  
[2] Purple Jesus: Get a 5-gallon bucket with a spigot, fill it with grape kool-aide, and add a couple bottles of Everclear. Be prepared for a good time. 


End file.
